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Don’t Force It!!

Even though I hate to admit it but I am practicing non-attachment.  It is a way to protect your soul and heart from disappointment. Please do not get it confused with detachment!!! It is not that type of party.  It sounds like a bad thing, but it really isn’t.  Trust me, I still have feelings and empathy for people. Non-attachment “allows us to live in this world fully, without being attached to people, things or thoughts that create suffering” ( Non-attachment taught me how to cope with people, opportunities, and situations in a manner that brings a sense of humor to things that would otherwise hurt my feelings. Think about it, we get disappointed and hurt because we have unconscious and conscious expectations. How about eliminating that thought process? How about balancing it all out?

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Photo by Roman Pohorecki on

The purpose of non-attachment is to make sure people, perspectives, materialism, and expectations don’t take over your mind and spiritual growth.  For example, I have applied to various jobs and organizations that I thought would ultimately take me to another level in life.  Guess what? I didn’t get the jobs. Instead of feeling hurt; I chalked it up as “it wasn’t my time” or “it isn’t for me”.  For some reason, I took the rejection peacefully.  Any other time I would be very disappointed and wanted to know why I didn’t get it.  It would fester my mind because I wanted answers.  Not anymore.

When it relates to relationships I don’t have any unrealistic expectations.  I enjoy the moment and let things flow.  If it doesn’t work out; it doesn’t work out.  I won’t hold on to people.  I had a tendency to go for what I wanted and latch on to people for the sake of having someone.  If he isn’t a fit; then so be it.  If he finds out I am not his cup of tea; then I keep it moving. If he doesn’t fit into my realm then I keep it moving. I don’t waste time trying to fit someone into a specific category in my life.  Loving someone isn’t about being attached to them, but giving them space to breathe and enjoying each other while they are here. Remember that everything must come to an end eventually.  Now I definitely want to get married again (that’s another blog topic), but I also know that I have to let things fall on its own and allow THAT MAN to come to me when he is ready for ME!! I will wait until that man has the wisdom to come to me directly and wholeheartedly without any blinders on.  When that time comes; I will enjoy the union as one because we are in sync with each other mentally, spiritually, and morally. Will I mourn when my other half is gone; of course I am human!!! But I will enjoy every moment we shared together and all the memories left behind.

photography of couple sitting on bench

Photo by Drew Rae on

Think about it… we are at our craziest when we have invested too much time and energy on someone who isn’t connected to us equally or spiritually.  Who doesn’t have the same views and beliefs as you.  Who doesn’t have the same ethical and moral piece as you. We become so attached to the “belief” or “the what if” that we don’t take it for what it is.  We waste more time worrying about if the person is going to leave us or cheating on us instead of looking at what it really is. Trust me when I tell you people show you who they are.  Take it as face value and handle accordingly.  Stop investing your time and feelings on people who aren’t a good fit for your energy and spirit.  When someone is for you; it will come on its own without force.  You will both be happy and in sync with each other’s happiness. I had to learn that the hard way.  Until then I will continue to wait for my time and my equal partner. If you are honest with one another; the answer will always be clear.

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Photo by Nandhu Kumar on

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