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According to the Collins English dictionary, “Loyalty is the quality of staying firm in your friendship or support for someone or something”. Loyalty is being devoted and faithful to someone, something, or a belief wholeheartedly that it may risk losing family, friendship, and your mind!! But when is it NOT ok to be loyal to someone who continuously lies, disappoints, and participate in behavior that is not only risky but can cause harm to others?

Loyalty can cause division in families, friendships, business, and marriages.  It can also bring them closer.  No matter the case, it is imperative to decipher when it is necessary to call a spade a spade and when it is cool to stay by their side. Loyalty is all about being honest and committed to the person and the cause.  Sometimes you can be loyal to someone and the cause and they ain’t loyal back.  Your moral compass plays a significant role in loyalty when this happens.  It’s something like having a pet dog, but sometimes there’s a possibility that pet will eventually turn on you when his loyalty waivers.

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When you should call a spade a spade

  1. When someone has continuously betrayed your trust but doesn’t remain loyal to you and your morals;

  2. When someone constantly participates in destructive activities that risk the safety and well-being of not only you but your family too;

  3. When someone has an addiction or a compulsive liar that refuse to seek continuous help/counseling for;

  4. A murderer/rapist/abuser/sex offender/narcissist/sociopath/serial killer;

  5. The organization/person participates in scams, fraudulent activity, and/or anything that can possibly cause jail time, loss of home, and/ or income;

  6. Constantly crosses boundaries that hurt you/home/ friendships/business.

When you should remain loyal

  1. Equal respect and honesty amongst the masses;

  2. Trust;

  3. Do not constantly risk trust within the relationship, family, friendship, business

  4. Has genuine empathy and/or regret any harm/hurt caused by them (not a narcissist or sociopath);

  5. Try to genuinely and sincerely mend harmful situations by going through the necessary steps needed to correct their wrong;

  6. Has proven to be consistent by illustrating and following actions motivated for the betterment of the team/family/marriage/friendship/business.

Being loyal to someone definitely doesn’t mean to uphold them when they are wrong.  It damn sure doesn’t mean that you should allow them to continue participating in things that can jeopardize your well-being or morality.  Loyalty should never compromise your spiritual growth or integrity.  Being able to distinguish right from wrong without losing your way; is being loyal to yourself and your spirit. We are all human and can sometimes choose the wrong path. You can definitely remain loyal to a brand, person, or relationship but be able to openly discuss and guide someone to always do the right thing and correct their wrongs.  When it’s all said and done; which is more important? Being loyal to someone/something that doesn’t respect you or your family’s well-being spiritually or mentally, or being loyal to someone/something that is loyal to the heart and spirit? I choose the latter.

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