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How Do You Love Me?

young woman with luggage standing on train in city

Photo by Pixabay on

I had to learn that before anyone attempted to fall in love with me; I had to fall in love with myself first.  In order to fully be open to all that comes with being in love, I had to purge some of the unnecessary baggage that was dragging me down.  I was always told on a constant basis that men ain’t shit.  I begin to believe it.  I was taught that men are “men” and that it is okay for them to be cheaters, deceivers, and players.  That is what being a man is all about. Bullshit!!! I soon realized that this was just a myth and that if I had standards and boundaries; the right man will be ready to treat me the way that I deserve to be treated.  I learned that if I didn’t tolerate the very things I disliked in relationships; then the men that can’t deal with my tolerance level would dismiss themselves or walk away before they even attempt to mess my life up!! hahaha!!! Because I’ve changed my view on love, men who aren’t used to my standards and boundaries usually walk away or don’t even bother me.  You have to come correct with me.  That’s just it.  I made it too far to mess up what I cleaned up.

man and woman holding each others hand wrapped with string lights

Photo by Anastasiya Lobanovskaya on

I kissed a couple of frogs to learn that not everything that I want is what I need.  I finally figured out the difference between the two.  Hey, I wanted Method Man and LL Cool J at one time; but that wasn’t who I needed hahaha!!! But seriously, I need to be able to trust you wholeheartedly.  I can’t have any doubts in my head concerning who you are.  I need you to have character and integrity when it deals with relationships and friendships.  I pay close attention to how you interact with others because that tells me a lot about you. I should have full confidence in knowing that my man loves me.  Too many people tried to make me question if it is even possible, but I know for a fact that it is.  The character of a man is what makes him special.  Someone who is caring and compassionate is what I need. I finally wised up.  I realized what was corny to me in high school is what I need and appreciate now.

To be able to shed some of the protective walls that were built up to guard my heart is what I need.  In order for me to fall in love with you; I have to trust you first.  Taking the time to learn and connect with my energy is what I am looking for.  Being able to balance me and teach me new ways to love is exciting to me.  Building a friendship with and learning about me is part of a lasting relationship. If you are willing to build our kindred spirit as one, heal together, and love one another; then you are the man for me.  If you can deal with my mood swings and indecisiveness, then you are a winner!!!

man and woman holding hands together

Photo by Jasmine Wallace Carter on

Trust and believe I will spoil you with love and affection if you do the same.  I am not a materialistic type of chic; therefore your actions are what speaks to my heart.  Putting thought and attention into what will make me happy is a plus in my book.  You will soon realize that I am about “us” as a team.  I will no longer be so selfish in the love process.  I will share the love equally amongst the two of us.  Fuck it, let’s be on our grown folk’s shit.  I think I am old enough to know what’s best for me.   And so should the man that chooses to be with me, forever. That’s how you love me.


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